I remember Soren's first couple of months home from the hospital.
That was one of the most difficult times of my life.
My baby was finally here! I was so excited. And yet, no matter how much love and effort I poured into that boy, it seemed like he never responded. He couldn't move, he couldn't talk, he couldn't even look us in the eye. All he ever did was cry and eat.
I thought that we would never sleep and the longer I went without sleep, the more frazzled Scott and I got. We would joke about chucking him out the window on particularly hard nights. I think the thought was too tempting so instead we began joking about feeding him to the cougars. We sang songs about it and it helped so much to laugh about our frustrations. We didn't know what Soren wanted ever and the only thing that would stop his mouth was sticking food in it. We were exhausted and I know now that he was, too.
We had so many tricks to keep him happy and we would shuffle through them until we found a temporary fix for his incomprehensible sorrows. First the food. I fed and fed and fed Soren until the physical drain on my body was just too much to bear. Then we decided only to feed every two hours, which meant we needed a different solution in meantime. Sometimes I would stick my pinky in his
mouth and he would suck on that instead. He hated a pacifier but we would try it all the same sometimes. Scott's favorite solution was to hang the baby upside down by his feet. For awhile that would work and, I think from confusion, he would be quiet. Alas, not for long. Surprisingly, it was Scott that discovered Soren's affinity for music. Scott would sing and sometimes his rumble-y voice would make the boy feel better. Scott's grandparents sent us some money and we bought Soren a swing. He hated it. Still, sometimes it would offer a few moments of quiet as Soren realized his surroundings had changed. My Aunt Karen sent a gift card that we used to buy a sling. If I carried Soren in it while I did housework, he would often fall into a few shining moments of sleep.
And when nothing at all would work, it was tummy time. As long as he was going to be working so hard, it might as well be at something useful. Soren got very good at holding his head up (probably because his screams were clearer like that).
And when it seemed that we honestly couldn't take it anymore and that we had made a horrible mistake--here, take it back!--Soren learned to look us in the eye and smile. He changed overnight from a screaming blob of slightly humanoid proportions to an interactive child and our child at that. Scott used to say it was a survival mechanism and that if babies waited any longer to develop cute defenses, our species would have died off eons ago. I would scowl at him whenever he said it but even I knew that every bit of our bad days was infinitely more enjoyable because the baby would interact with me. Every day since that first day he smiled has been better.
Scott and I love to watch Soren develop into a thinking, acting, and reacting member of our family. We are very excited for him to be a communicating member, too.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that having a baby is totally worth it but hard. Newborns will become functional humans eventually and then they'll grow so fast you start to see even their fussy-blob stage through rose-colored glasses.
That was one of the most difficult times of my life.
My baby was finally here! I was so excited. And yet, no matter how much love and effort I poured into that boy, it seemed like he never responded. He couldn't move, he couldn't talk, he couldn't even look us in the eye. All he ever did was cry and eat.
I thought that we would never sleep and the longer I went without sleep, the more frazzled Scott and I got. We would joke about chucking him out the window on particularly hard nights. I think the thought was too tempting so instead we began joking about feeding him to the cougars. We sang songs about it and it helped so much to laugh about our frustrations. We didn't know what Soren wanted ever and the only thing that would stop his mouth was sticking food in it. We were exhausted and I know now that he was, too.
We had so many tricks to keep him happy and we would shuffle through them until we found a temporary fix for his incomprehensible sorrows. First the food. I fed and fed and fed Soren until the physical drain on my body was just too much to bear. Then we decided only to feed every two hours, which meant we needed a different solution in meantime. Sometimes I would stick my pinky in his
mouth and he would suck on that instead. He hated a pacifier but we would try it all the same sometimes. Scott's favorite solution was to hang the baby upside down by his feet. For awhile that would work and, I think from confusion, he would be quiet. Alas, not for long. Surprisingly, it was Scott that discovered Soren's affinity for music. Scott would sing and sometimes his rumble-y voice would make the boy feel better. Scott's grandparents sent us some money and we bought Soren a swing. He hated it. Still, sometimes it would offer a few moments of quiet as Soren realized his surroundings had changed. My Aunt Karen sent a gift card that we used to buy a sling. If I carried Soren in it while I did housework, he would often fall into a few shining moments of sleep.And when nothing at all would work, it was tummy time. As long as he was going to be working so hard, it might as well be at something useful. Soren got very good at holding his head up (probably because his screams were clearer like that).
And when it seemed that we honestly couldn't take it anymore and that we had made a horrible mistake--here, take it back!--Soren learned to look us in the eye and smile. He changed overnight from a screaming blob of slightly humanoid proportions to an interactive child and our child at that. Scott used to say it was a survival mechanism and that if babies waited any longer to develop cute defenses, our species would have died off eons ago. I would scowl at him whenever he said it but even I knew that every bit of our bad days was infinitely more enjoyable because the baby would interact with me. Every day since that first day he smiled has been better.
Scott and I love to watch Soren develop into a thinking, acting, and reacting member of our family. We are very excited for him to be a communicating member, too.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that having a baby is totally worth it but hard. Newborns will become functional humans eventually and then they'll grow so fast you start to see even their fussy-blob stage through rose-colored glasses.
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