Mom Remembers

Carl walks in on me getting dressed.  I'm only wearing my pants and a bra. CARL:  What do you look like? ME:  Um ... I don't know.  What do I look like? CARL:  You look like a little mermaid!

I can make music. I can make babies. I can make order. I can make Halloween costumes. I can make a schedule. I can make up a story. I can make dinner.

Why am I always tidying, baking, and laundering?  What is the purpose of all this cooking, cleaning, and mending?  There will always be more dishes, more dirty clothes, and more empty stomachs; sometimes it seems like a never-ending cycle of fruitless labor.  Nothing is ever truly finished.  I can't complete one task without another coming undone. Time unravels all my efforts and that can leave me feeling like I've accomplished nothing. There are a few things I do to regulate the time I spend on housekeeping and to keep my spirits high.  The most important for me is The Chore Game.  It's a game I invented to play three times a day that keeps my house at an acceptable level of cleanliness.  A few of my friends have asked me to formally share my housekeeping game and so I will include it (in it's current form) below.  The specific tasks and rules are inconsequential; what matters is that once they are decided, they are followed. The Object of the Game There is both a

When I think about the art of nurturing, I think about my responsibility as a mother to help my children reach their potential.  I want to help them flower into the wonderful, unique adults they were born to be. I have learned this past year that nurturing is, for me, much more about cherishing than about cultivating.  It is less about forming the child and more about knowing the child.  I have learned this by observing the way my husband nurtures me, which reminds me of the way God nurtures me.  They see  me as I really am.  They listen  to what I say and they notice  what I do.  They rejoice in my strengths and forgive me my failings.  They trust in my good intentions and they offer suggestions when I am most receptive to them.  All this encourages me to become my best self.  I want to nurture my children in the same way. Translating that sublime vision into ordinary acts is challenging.  It is the flip-side of yesterday's post about self-care and sometimes the two goals

I noticed when Soren was very young that I could not be any kind of mother to him when I did not take care of myself.  I knew before he was born that I needed to prepare myself to be his mother; I did not realize that afterwards, I would need to prepare myself continually to interact with him in a loving and thoughtful way.  I know now that I must make time to nurture myself. I'm not talking about gratifying my whims at the expense of my family and I'm certainly not talking about anything that can be bought and sold.  As suggested by this post's focus on ordinary  arts, I am talking about the everyday habits that will give me strength when my task is difficult and will allow me to experience joy when family life is harmonious.  I am talking about simple things and they are "of more importance than their simplicity might suggest."   There is a baseline level of wellness that I try to maintain.  It gives me the needed physical and emotional energy to carry

I've decided to follow along with a series of a posts on this beautiful blog .  The series is inspired by this quote by Thomas Moore: "The ordinary arts we practice every day at home are of more importance than their simplicity might suggest." I love that quote and think it is especially pertinent to mothers. Just because the things homemakers do are simple, repetitive, and under-appreciated does not mean they are unimportant.  In fact, I believe they are the most important things of all.  As David O. McKay put it, "She who can paint a masterpiece or write a book that will influence millions deserves the admiration and the plaudits of mankind; but she who rears successfully a family of healthy, beautiful sons and daughters, whose influence will be felt through generations to come, whose immortal souls will exert an influence throughout the ages long after paintings shall have faded, and books and statues shall have decayed or shall have been destroyed, deserves t

Soren is eating a bag of fruit snacks that a friend gave to him. They look awfully good. ME: Can I have one of those? SOREN: No, they're just for kids. Sorry.

* How to find the answers to their questions. * How to make friends. * How to manage money. * How to construct a logical argument and write it clearly. * How to pray. * How to listen to the Holy Ghost. * How to work for what they need and want. * How to manage their time. * How to take care of themselves. * How to take care of their home. * How to study the scriptures. * How to make meaningful contributions to their family and community. * How to stand up for what they believe in. * How to be happy.