I noticed when Soren was very young that I could not be any kind of mother to him when I did not take care of myself. I knew before he was born that I needed to prepare myself to be his mother; I did not realize that afterwards, I would need to prepare myself continually to interact with him in a loving and thoughtful way. I know now that I must make time to nurture myself.
I'm not talking about gratifying my whims at the expense of my family and I'm certainly not talking about anything that can be bought and sold. As suggested by this post's focus on ordinary arts, I am talking about the everyday habits that will give me strength when my task is difficult and will allow me to experience joy when family life is harmonious. I am talking about simple things and they are "of more importance than their simplicity might suggest."
There is a baseline level of wellness that I try to maintain. It gives me the needed physical and emotional energy to carry out my daily tasks as a parent. To have that strength, I:
* pray morning, afternoon, and whenever things get tough,
* sleep 7-1/2 hours every night,
* and eat three meals every day.
However, if I am to mother mindfully and live a life worth emulating, there is more I must do to care for myself. So I also try each day to:
* make a little music
* read the scriptures,
* nourish my relationships with adult friends,
* go for a walk (with or without kids),
* have an uninterrupted conversation with my husband,
* and learn something new.
I would like to add one more idea to this post. Scott and I have been talking recently about the biblical concept of marriage, and particularly about Paul's counsel to husbands and wives. Paul advises, "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. . . . Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it. . . . So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself." I would offer this final thought: that one of the most potent ways I can care for myself is to submit to the care of my husband. Scott truly does love me as he loves himself. When I listen to his counsel and accept his affection, I find myself renewed far beyond my capacity to strengthen myself.
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