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When I Became a Mother

I remember the day I found out I was pregnant. It was a Tuesday and, although Scott and I were trying for a baby, I was not expecting it at all.

When I got home from school, a few hours before Scott, I walked to the grocery store and bought a two-pack of pregnancy tests. I took the test and watched the indicator's window as a plus sign quickly materialized there. I could not believe how blessed we were! We were going to have a baby.

The first thing I thought was "hooray!" Then I started shaking. My mind was racing. I didn't know if I was ready to be a good mother. I didn't know if I would regret it. I was pregnant now and from that point on, I would always be a mother. I wanted a child so much but I was frightened of the change as well.

I called Scott and told him. He said, "That's wonderful!" and I started crying, from joy and stress I think. My whole body was quivering inside and I wanted him to come home and hold me, calm me down, and then dream about our little one with me. I asked him to leave early. He ditched his English class and rushed home. He folded me in his arms for a long hug, then stepped back and gently put his hand on my stomach. Deep inside my uterus, Soren was already growing. We sat together on the foot of our bed and talked about the future. We talked about how happy we were and how our child was a blessing that would change our whole lives. That day, we agreed that if it was a girl, we would name her Freya and if it was a boy, we would name him Soren.

And now little Soren is here with us. I carried him in my body for nine months (a time that passed more and more slowly as it neared the end) and I've watched over him since he joined our home seven months ago. I am still not sure I'm absolutely ready to be the perfect mom, but he's taught me how to care for him and what he likes best. I love him, and that's all that really matters. I have never regretted adding him to our family, no matter how cranky or difficult he gets. My joy has increased beyond its previous maximum capacity; I love nothing better than to be happy with both Soren and Scott. And I am sure that more children will add even more to that joy.

I hope that we can bring little Freya to join us soon.
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