I've decided to do a new series of posts on how I make parenting work for us. Every parent does it differently--which is great!--but I have a hard time keeping my discoveries to myself. The things I do may not work for anyone else but I want to record them and remember them. Hopefully, it will also help me vent my soap-box-y-ness so that I'm not always imposing my ideas on other people. That will be what "What-Works-for-Us Posts" are about.
One of the things that we have always done, but has made a HUGE difference in the move from one to two children, is Room Time. When Soren was 6 months old, I started having him play alone (in a safe place) every day for a few minutes. At first it was only five minutes in the port-a-crib but we quickly worked up to fifteen, then thirty. At that time, I used those precious minutes to do housework or relax on the couch. When I was pregnant with Carl, Soren would play alone for about an hour in his room and I would usually take a much-needed, baby-making nap.
By the time Carl came along, Soren was accustomed to entertaining himself for a little time every day. I moved that solo play time to Carl's most alert time during the day so that I could devote most of my attention to Carl when he was most awake. Then, when Carl was napping, I could devote most of my attention to Soren.
Of course there are times when they both need me at once. However, teaching Soren to entertain himself makes those times much less frequent. I also feel that adding the new baby was a less drastic change in Soren's life because of solo play. He has never displayed any jealousy towards his brother. I think that's because he has his own time and space. There are times when he has space and toys all to himself (with no crying, grabbing brother to interrupt) and there are times when he has me all to himself. The time he shares with Carl is more fun for him because he feels secure in his routine. They actually interact with each other and act very happy to see one another, something that I am very glad to see.
Now I am starting to enforce solo play for Carl and he is developing those same skills. I think he enjoys having the toy box to himself, working slowly but surely towards his favorites, secure in the knowledge that noone can come and snatch them up. Solo play is only about 10 minutes for Carl and it will be a long time before he can safely move to his room but I know that it will be worth it. Because this is something that definitely works for us.
One of the things that we have always done, but has made a HUGE difference in the move from one to two children, is Room Time. When Soren was 6 months old, I started having him play alone (in a safe place) every day for a few minutes. At first it was only five minutes in the port-a-crib but we quickly worked up to fifteen, then thirty. At that time, I used those precious minutes to do housework or relax on the couch. When I was pregnant with Carl, Soren would play alone for about an hour in his room and I would usually take a much-needed, baby-making nap.
By the time Carl came along, Soren was accustomed to entertaining himself for a little time every day. I moved that solo play time to Carl's most alert time during the day so that I could devote most of my attention to Carl when he was most awake. Then, when Carl was napping, I could devote most of my attention to Soren.
Of course there are times when they both need me at once. However, teaching Soren to entertain himself makes those times much less frequent. I also feel that adding the new baby was a less drastic change in Soren's life because of solo play. He has never displayed any jealousy towards his brother. I think that's because he has his own time and space. There are times when he has space and toys all to himself (with no crying, grabbing brother to interrupt) and there are times when he has me all to himself. The time he shares with Carl is more fun for him because he feels secure in his routine. They actually interact with each other and act very happy to see one another, something that I am very glad to see.
Now I am starting to enforce solo play for Carl and he is developing those same skills. I think he enjoys having the toy box to himself, working slowly but surely towards his favorites, secure in the knowledge that noone can come and snatch them up. Solo play is only about 10 minutes for Carl and it will be a long time before he can safely move to his room but I know that it will be worth it. Because this is something that definitely works for us.
Comments