Yesterday, April Clauson and I went to a mommy-and-baby institute class. The topic of the class was discipline but it was assumed that none of the material we were learning would be used for a few years. The teacher doesn't think that children under the age of one are teachable. She was mostly giving us pointers for the future. A lot of it seemed like good advice for right now, though. I really feel that there are important things Soren can--and should--learn right now.
Babies learn quickly about cause and effect. Soren knows that if he holds the sippy cup up, he gets juice and if he doesn't, he doesn't. He knows that if he scoots to the door of his room and bang on it during room time, I'll know he's done playing and I'll come and get him. He knows that if I put him in the crib, he won't get out until he's slept. I believe these correlations started to kick in around six months. Although he may not have any notion of morality, my 9-month-old son is still capable of learning boundaries and functioning happily within them.
One of the ladies at the institute class gave a really great sugestion. She commented that a lot of mothers just get tired of saying "no" and not being answered. She said that she picks her battles very carefully and tries to eliminate the possibility of any other battles. She has babyproofed her house, except for one item in every room. She and her husband have conferred about that item and decided that they will not let the baby touch it. If she does, the parents say "no". The second time she touches it, they say "no", then pick her up and put her somewhere else. If she persists, they remove her from the room.
Scott and I talked about this last night and decided that it was a great idea. We have been trying, half-heartedly, to keep Soren under control in the living room. He is so excited about touching everything but some things are not for babies to touch. We know that he does not understand the implications of what he does but we also believe that he is teachable. We choose the DVD player in the living room to be our off-limits item and made a pact to remove everything else from the coffee table and put it out of reach. Making a conscious choice to enforce the "no console touching" rule made it easy for us to persist in correcting Soren. In addition, he had the rest of the living room to freely explore, even if he wasn't allowed to touch that one item.
I left for my Relief Society meeting last night and Scott practiced saying "no" about the DVD player. Now, today, I can see a difference. When Soren pulls up to touch the shiney buttons, he looks at me, wondering what I'll do. He already knows that he's not supposed to touch! If I say, "no" he sits down and crawls off to find something else. He has learned that particular boundary and learned it very quickly!
It reminds me of when he was first eating solid foods. He would put his hands in his mouth with the food that I gave him and smeer it all over his face. I started saying "no" and restraining his hands whenever he put his fingers in his mouth. That behavior ceased overnight. He is very smart and there are some simple things I can expect from him. But more than just keeping him clean, it is rewarding to watch him learn. He is happier now that he knows how to stay out of trouble. It is better that he doesn't touch the television than that he plays with it until he messes something up and gets pulled away crying.
In spite of what they might say, Soren is teachable.
Babies learn quickly about cause and effect. Soren knows that if he holds the sippy cup up, he gets juice and if he doesn't, he doesn't. He knows that if he scoots to the door of his room and bang on it during room time, I'll know he's done playing and I'll come and get him. He knows that if I put him in the crib, he won't get out until he's slept. I believe these correlations started to kick in around six months. Although he may not have any notion of morality, my 9-month-old son is still capable of learning boundaries and functioning happily within them.
One of the ladies at the institute class gave a really great sugestion. She commented that a lot of mothers just get tired of saying "no" and not being answered. She said that she picks her battles very carefully and tries to eliminate the possibility of any other battles. She has babyproofed her house, except for one item in every room. She and her husband have conferred about that item and decided that they will not let the baby touch it. If she does, the parents say "no". The second time she touches it, they say "no", then pick her up and put her somewhere else. If she persists, they remove her from the room.
Scott and I talked about this last night and decided that it was a great idea. We have been trying, half-heartedly, to keep Soren under control in the living room. He is so excited about touching everything but some things are not for babies to touch. We know that he does not understand the implications of what he does but we also believe that he is teachable. We choose the DVD player in the living room to be our off-limits item and made a pact to remove everything else from the coffee table and put it out of reach. Making a conscious choice to enforce the "no console touching" rule made it easy for us to persist in correcting Soren. In addition, he had the rest of the living room to freely explore, even if he wasn't allowed to touch that one item.
I left for my Relief Society meeting last night and Scott practiced saying "no" about the DVD player. Now, today, I can see a difference. When Soren pulls up to touch the shiney buttons, he looks at me, wondering what I'll do. He already knows that he's not supposed to touch! If I say, "no" he sits down and crawls off to find something else. He has learned that particular boundary and learned it very quickly!
It reminds me of when he was first eating solid foods. He would put his hands in his mouth with the food that I gave him and smeer it all over his face. I started saying "no" and restraining his hands whenever he put his fingers in his mouth. That behavior ceased overnight. He is very smart and there are some simple things I can expect from him. But more than just keeping him clean, it is rewarding to watch him learn. He is happier now that he knows how to stay out of trouble. It is better that he doesn't touch the television than that he plays with it until he messes something up and gets pulled away crying.
In spite of what they might say, Soren is teachable.
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