As Midsummer approached this year, I found myself thinking a lot about change. The kind of change that John the Baptist advocated when he preached: "Repent ye: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand." The summer solstice, which fell on Midsummer's Day this year, is a turning point in the Earth's seasonal dance. And I wanted to make it a turning point in my life. A time to make a change that would help me "prepare ... the way of the Lord" and "make his paths straight".
I prayed a lot in the days leading up to our Midsummer camping trip, hoping that I would have the change of heart I needed to make a change of habits. I had a list of character defects and bad habits I felt particularly discouraged about and hoped that God would grant me the strength to be better. He did just that but not in the way I was expecting.
I didn't really feel like I was receiving an answer to my prayers. I didn't feel confident about going out into the desert and laying down a goal for myself. And what I realized is that I can't change overnight. Change in my life, like change in the seasons, is incremental. And rather than casting off in one fell swoop all my weaknesses, God encouraged me to cast off my guilt. To forgive myself as He has forgiven me. To make my fresh start knowing full well that I would make mistakes. And to spend less time obsession about the past and more time living in the moment.
It was a marvelous feeling: going out on our camping trip, casting off my burdens, and enjoying the moment.
Here are some of the things we did:
2. It is a two-and-a-half hour drive to Topaz Mountain from Provo and, although we have been there many times before, we got lost this time. And so it was about three-and-a-half hours. Our portable DVD player only made it halfway. So I taught the kids to sing "There's a Hole in the Middle of the Lake", which they requested over and over and over again.
5. We hiked up into the mountain to look at wildlife and do some shooting (at targets). Scott gets into teacher mode whenever we are out in the wild, which is fun to see. He pointed out lizards and gopher droppings and rock formations. There was a giant lizard that followed us around for a while, much to the kids amusement. Most excitingly, we found an intact snake skin, complete with eye coverings! The shedding snake is a symbol of rebirth, which seemed appropriate, given the season.
8. Carl got tired of sitting around the fire once the food was finished so he went to bed first. Soren stayed up to watch the stars come out. Although I attempted to put Sven down as soon as he looked tired, he didn't want to go but stayed up snuggling on Scott's lap. When the boys were finally all sleeping in the tent, Scott and I stayed up to enjoy the quiet night. Getting away from civilizations ambient noise is one of my favorite things about Topaz Mountain.
10. We did some more shooting a little closer to the campsite. I used Scott's revolver and actually hit a glass bottle! That was enough for me but Soren wanted Scott to shoot his very loud rifle, which he was happy to do. We had a repeat of last year's lessons about how to be safe around firearms and how a gun works.
11. And, after that, Sven just wanted to go home. He'd had enough of family vacation. He cried at the car door until I let him in and then he just huddled in his carseat, waiting for us to pack up. Fortunately, he slept most of the way home.
I prayed a lot in the days leading up to our Midsummer camping trip, hoping that I would have the change of heart I needed to make a change of habits. I had a list of character defects and bad habits I felt particularly discouraged about and hoped that God would grant me the strength to be better. He did just that but not in the way I was expecting.
I didn't really feel like I was receiving an answer to my prayers. I didn't feel confident about going out into the desert and laying down a goal for myself. And what I realized is that I can't change overnight. Change in my life, like change in the seasons, is incremental. And rather than casting off in one fell swoop all my weaknesses, God encouraged me to cast off my guilt. To forgive myself as He has forgiven me. To make my fresh start knowing full well that I would make mistakes. And to spend less time obsession about the past and more time living in the moment.
It was a marvelous feeling: going out on our camping trip, casting off my burdens, and enjoying the moment.
Here are some of the things we did:
1. Before bugging out entirely, I taught a harp lesson in Provo. Scott took all the boys to the Bean Life Science Museum at BYU. They had a great time together, just the boys and all the taxidermied animals. Seeing Scott successfully managing all three of his sons solo was a great start to the trip.
2. It is a two-and-a-half hour drive to Topaz Mountain from Provo and, although we have been there many times before, we got lost this time. And so it was about three-and-a-half hours. Our portable DVD player only made it halfway. So I taught the kids to sing "There's a Hole in the Middle of the Lake", which they requested over and over and over again.
3. Sven, who was pretty upset about the car ride when he woke up from his nap, was very happy to arrive at Topaz Mountain. It was like a giant sandbox! We all checked our drinks before taking a sip every time, just to make sure that he hadn't added some local flavor.
4. Getting the site set up was an especial challenge this year because the wind was so fierce. Our tent was blown down several times and Scott had a hard time getting the fire going. But we opened the cooler and let the kids enjoy whatever snacks they wanted, which significantly improved morale.
5. We hiked up into the mountain to look at wildlife and do some shooting (at targets). Scott gets into teacher mode whenever we are out in the wild, which is fun to see. He pointed out lizards and gopher droppings and rock formations. There was a giant lizard that followed us around for a while, much to the kids amusement. Most excitingly, we found an intact snake skin, complete with eye coverings! The shedding snake is a symbol of rebirth, which seemed appropriate, given the season.
6. We had the best hot dogs for dinner: cheddar wurst. We also took a stab at dutch oven cobbler, which turned out pretty gross. Only Sven really seemed to enjoy it. Oh, well. We learned something valuable.
7. I was able to coax Carl into singing around the campfire with me. He was a good sport about it, which was fun for me. We took turns picking songs to sing; "There's a Hole in the Middle of the Lake" was still a favorite. Amusingly, the kids protested whenever I picked a Primary song. "No church music!" they would say. I didn't push my luck because, after all, I was just glad to have someone willing to sing with me.
8. Carl got tired of sitting around the fire once the food was finished so he went to bed first. Soren stayed up to watch the stars come out. Although I attempted to put Sven down as soon as he looked tired, he didn't want to go but stayed up snuggling on Scott's lap. When the boys were finally all sleeping in the tent, Scott and I stayed up to enjoy the quiet night. Getting away from civilizations ambient noise is one of my favorite things about Topaz Mountain.
9. The next day, we couldn't get a fire started. It was too windy. So we had granola bars for breakfast. (Sven had more gross cobbler.)
10. We did some more shooting a little closer to the campsite. I used Scott's revolver and actually hit a glass bottle! That was enough for me but Soren wanted Scott to shoot his very loud rifle, which he was happy to do. We had a repeat of last year's lessons about how to be safe around firearms and how a gun works. 11. And, after that, Sven just wanted to go home. He'd had enough of family vacation. He cried at the car door until I let him in and then he just huddled in his carseat, waiting for us to pack up. Fortunately, he slept most of the way home.
12. We stopped at the only our favorite malt shop in Nephi for chicken nuggets and shakes. There is a park across the street, which makes it a great place for a mid-way stretch your legs. We had to do a lot of pushing our kids on swings but it certainly refreshed our spirits.
13. One of the best things about the Topaz Mountain trip is getting home. No, seriously. Getting a shower, sleeping on a bed, using a toilet ... these are luxuries you really don't appreciate until you have spent some time away. I love the peace and the stars, the bugs and the animals, the closeness and the adventure of our favorite camping spot. But I definitely prefer home. Especially since I left my guilt behind in the desert.
Comments