Today Soren got his first ouchy/boo-boo/cut. I felt like such a horrible parent! I was working in the kitchen, making dinner, and Soren was playing in his room. He's been a little testy lately whenever I have something to do; he doesn't like to be put down. I guess this is what 9-month separation anxiety is like. So when he started crying all of a sudden, I thought it was just melodrama and that I could stick the food in the oven before going to get him.
His screaming rose quickly to a feverish pitch and I jammed dinner into the oven and rushed to the nursery. His shirt was covered in bright red spots and his face was smeared with it as well. I couldn't locate the source of the bleeding but there was a lot of it around his mouth. He was clinging to me and keening--and I couldn't make it better!
I hurried to the bathroom and got a rag to wipe the blood away. The cut was on his lower lip and when I found spots on the bookcase, I gathered that he'd banged himself on a shelf. With the blood wiped away and pressure applied to his lip, I wasn't quite so overwhelmed. With his mom there and tragedy fading to memory, Soren wasn't quite so overwhelmed either. In fact, it wasn't too long before he tired of the crying and cuddling and started to struggle, eager to get back to play. Kids are resilient. A few hours later, I don't think he remembers anymore. And I don't think I'll ever forget.
I won't be able to forget how worried I was that something had gone terribly wrong. I won't be able to forget the powerful surge of emotion I felt. I love him and want to protect him. It's not always possible, it's not always wise. But when he's hurt, so am I. He's a part of me and I'll always want to prevent his pain. I guess when you become a parent, you have to accept that you and your little loved one will both be hurt sometime, him by the world and you by your love. I'm just glad this was such a small and unimportant thing.
His screaming rose quickly to a feverish pitch and I jammed dinner into the oven and rushed to the nursery. His shirt was covered in bright red spots and his face was smeared with it as well. I couldn't locate the source of the bleeding but there was a lot of it around his mouth. He was clinging to me and keening--and I couldn't make it better!
I hurried to the bathroom and got a rag to wipe the blood away. The cut was on his lower lip and when I found spots on the bookcase, I gathered that he'd banged himself on a shelf. With the blood wiped away and pressure applied to his lip, I wasn't quite so overwhelmed. With his mom there and tragedy fading to memory, Soren wasn't quite so overwhelmed either. In fact, it wasn't too long before he tired of the crying and cuddling and started to struggle, eager to get back to play. Kids are resilient. A few hours later, I don't think he remembers anymore. And I don't think I'll ever forget.
I won't be able to forget how worried I was that something had gone terribly wrong. I won't be able to forget the powerful surge of emotion I felt. I love him and want to protect him. It's not always possible, it's not always wise. But when he's hurt, so am I. He's a part of me and I'll always want to prevent his pain. I guess when you become a parent, you have to accept that you and your little loved one will both be hurt sometime, him by the world and you by your love. I'm just glad this was such a small and unimportant thing.
Comments
You might remember me from the 127th(?) ward. I just want you to know you are such beautiful people with such a beautiful family. Your family values are fantastic. I can tell that you are a fantastic mother and I aspire to be a mother like you. Congratulations on your little son--he is beautiful!
--Natalie