Mom Remembers

I believe that the people that you love most have the power to change the person that you are. Falling in love with Scott forever changed the woman that I am. I look back with fondness on the girl I was. She is someone I was always happy to be. But I'm different now. And although as I was content before, I became even more so afterwards. I became more open and trusting. I felt more stable and peaceful. I think I gained wisdom. I don't think you can love and not be wiser. Loving Soren has irrevocably changed me too, as I hope every child I have will. Sometimes I feel as though I have borrowed his driving need for self-discovery and his refreshing lack of inhibitions. Sometimes, when I look in his sleepy eyes, I feel as though I have regained a lost innocence. And, again, I believe I am wiser now. This is how it happens: I'm sitting on the couch reading a book or a blog. I am encompassed by my own affairs and my own interests; I am an island and happy to stay that way. Soren ...

Yesterday, April Clauson and I went to a mommy-and-baby institute class. The topic of the class was discipline but it was assumed that none of the material we were learning would be used for a few years. The teacher doesn't think that children under the age of one are teachable. She was mostly giving us pointers for the future. A lot of it seemed like good advice for right now, though. I really feel that there are important things Soren can--and should--learn right now. Babies learn quickly about cause and effect. Soren knows that if he holds the sippy cup up, he gets juice and if he doesn't, he doesn't. He knows that if he scoots to the door of his room and bang on it during room time, I'll know he's done playing and I'll come and get him. He knows that if I put him in the crib, he won't get out until he's slept. I believe these correlations started to kick in around six months. Although he may not have any notion of morality, my 9-month-old...

Today we went for a family outing and Soren was so pleasant! We walked down 4th S looking for some food and found an all-you-can-eat Himalayan buffet. We let Soren try all the different foods and, although he didn't like the spicy stuff as well, he enjoyed it the overall experience. Some of the other customers commented on how content he was; he was flashing big smiles all around the dining area. During the meal, he looked at Scott and said (very distinctly) "da da". Scott says it was just coincidence, though. He says that Soren calls him "abzzzzta" as often as he calls him anything resembling "da da". Still, it was really cute. After lunch, we walked to the public library. We went downstairs to the children's section where they have a room decorated like an ice palace. Scott said it was like the fortress of solitude and that someday we should make a superman suit for Soren. We picked out a couple of books and read them in the fort...

This past week, Soren learned to pull himself up to standing. He's been able to stand with support for awhile and he's been able to pull himself up to a kneeling position for a while, too. But this week he put all the skills and gained dexterity together and started to pull himself all the way up. Now he scoots over to wherever I am and pulls himself hand over hand up my skirt or pants until he can look over the couch or rocking chair and see my face. The more he learns to do, the more fun it is to play with him. And I must admit, it's rewarding to see that as he gains the ability to get what he wants, most of the time he just wants to get closer to me or to Scott. The down side to this is that he is a lot more testy about going to bed. His crib used to be a place that he couldn't see out of. It kept outside stimulation to a minimum and created a safe, soothing environment for him to sleep in. Now, as soon as he hits the crib, he scoots around and pulls up...

Dear Soren, This is my favorite age! 8 months old and you are cuter than you ever were, smarter than you ever were, and sweeter than you ever were. If there's a good thing about babies, apply a superlative to it and that's what you are now. And, oh! I am sure it will only get better. The first month, you were pretty unresponsive to the outside world. Your father and I would discuss endlessly your apparent preferences only to find they had no actual bearing you your moods. You did whatever you were going to do no matter what we did. That meant that some glorious days you would fall asleep in my arms, a warm and tiny bundle, an open conduit for my love and devotion. Other times you were inexplicably furious and inconsolable. The second month you learned to look at us and smile. That small change made your extreme mood swings more bearable. You were very particular about what you wanted and I didn't quite know the code, yet. I didn't always get it right but you...

Soren and I went to Book Babies at the library this afternoon. We haven't been in about a month and in that time, his brain has developed so much! Soren seemed like a completely different baby t here, this week. Last time we went, he was crawling all over the floor and touching everything, especially the faces of other babies. This time he sat quietly on my lap with his attention riveted on the ladies reading stories. I think he was listening! He is beginning to understand that people are trying to communicate with him! He is fascinated by language. I could almost see the little wheels in his head turning. He was so attentive and intrigued, something I had not expected. Then we took the train downtown to have lunch with Scott. Lots of people stopped to say "hi" to Soren and he grinned at all of them. He's always liked people but I think he is beginning to grasp that there is a two-way street to interacting with people. Those noises they are making--t...

Alisha Stamper's son, Wallace, came to play yesterday. Soren and Wally enjoyed exploring each other's faces, watching me sing nursery rhymes, and listening to a book. I know this shouldn't make me proud, but Soren was very petulant every time I put Wallace on my lap. He would scoot up to me and pat my leg very purposefully, making squawking protests. He knew that was his place and who was this little usurper? Then, when Scott came home from work, we watched some of the Olympics for family home evening. Soren sat snuggly on my lap for a little bit but as our attention started to shift more towards each other, he made his presence known by squirming, kicking, and coughing. He often coughs for attention. Soren crawled off my lap (nearly falling off the couch) and settled himself on his daddy's. He wanted some of Scott's attention! He was glad that Dad was home to play. I know Soren does need to learn to share. Someday (soon, I hope) he will have a little si...