Skip to main content

Write It or Lose It

Sometimes, it seems like nothing is happening in my life.  But when I am keeping a journal, there are a million things I want to write about.  That’s a little daunting.  It makes me not even want to get started because I know that I could just write forever.  


I was thinking today, though, about memories.  Our memory is so faulty.  Someday, my children will be grown and I will only have my patchy memories to hold close.  I am grateful for the everyday things I have recorded about them.  I haven’t done enough of it, though.  And so today, I want to write about my kids.


Carl is very excited because his birthday is tomorrow.  He was antsy about it all day today.  He kept climbing up on the piano bench to shake the birthday present from his grandma and guess which lego set she bought for him.  Mixed with the pre-birthday excitement, he also had more than his fair share of upset today.  He tripped in the kitchen during lunchtime and, when his father came to sooth him, Carl shouted at him to “go away!”  His first reaction to almost anything now-a-days his uncontrollable rage.  He was very mad when I asked him to clean up his room this morning.  We have a new rule that when a child throws a fit because they have been assigned to do work, they will get a new job after they finish the current one and so on until they can accept an assignment cheerfully.  That was rough for Carl, today.  He kept stomping around and kicking things when I would ask him to put something away.  A more pleasant memory: he discovered today that he can raise one eyebrow.  He was very charming, sitting across the table from me while I worked at the computer, raising his eyebrow at me.


We went to the library today because it was too windy for the pool.  Soren sat by himself at one of the tables and read Axe Axiom comics while the other kids played with toys in the back.  He also asked the librarian to help him find books about “game design”, which resulted in a stack of video game books.  Another Soren memory: he was very excited this morning when I assigned him to put away 20 things for a chore rather than asking him to clean the kitchen.  He was pretty creative, trying to find groups of small things to up his count quickly.  At one point, he picked up 4 quarters and counted “15, 16, 17, and 18” but since they belonged in my room, where the baby was sleeping, I told him to put them back.  


Sven banged his nose on the vent behind our couch today.  He, Carl, and Maddy have been playing a game where they hide behind the curtains back there and make ghost noises.  But sometimes the three of them can be a little rowdy and Sven paid the price for it today.  Carl told me, “Sven is bleeding!”  When I rushed over to get him, I was reminded of the time he broke his lower jaw and had to go to the hospital.  But there was very little blood and only a scrape on his nose.  All the same, he was very upset about it.  Until I gave him a popsicle.  That fixes everything.  Sven is super cute right now.  He will ask me for something and smile this amazing smile that makes me want to give right in.  I noticed it in particular today when Carl asked me to read a book and I said “no”, that I was too busy.  Then Sven asked me to read the same book and smiled his cheesy smile and I really wanted to do it.  But I told Sven, “I just said no to Carl so it wouldn’t be very fair for me to say yes to you.”  Like a nice brother, Carl said, “I wouldn’t mind.  I would just listen.”  Sometimes, Sven takes disappointment well.  He will just ask again and smile harder.  But sometimes, he has a big fat fit.  That is usually when he wants to do something by himself and I won’t let him.  We frequently fight over whether or not he is allowed to open the fridge.  The answer is NO.

Baby Leif.  He is the one I want to remember most of all.  I love love love babies.  And in the wink of an eye, he will be all grown up.  He can already sit up, which is a tremendous boon but also a little sad.  He still likes best of all to be carried around.  He is a demanding baby.  At church, he’s a hopeless cause.  He can’t go to sleep without either being alone in a dark room or having a warm drink of mommy’s milk.  When I have to teach and he can’t have either, he will scream like there is no tomorrow.  He loves people and has a ready smile.  Carl is especially fun with him.  Carl likes to hold and play with Leif all the time, which I really appreciate.  Leif is also just learning to scoot around.  You would think he would scoot for toys but what he wants most of all is to chew on power cords.  Oh!  And Leif is ticklish!  I have never had a ticklish baby!  But he will give a lovely chuckle when I tickle his chest and under his arms!  The best times with Leif are the afternoon and late night nursing sessions and his diaper changes.  The rest of the time, I am able to focus on other things while carrying him close to me.  At those times, it feels like he is just another part of me that I am not paying active attention to at the moment.  But when I do pay attention, I love his smile, I love his smell, I love his soft cheeks, I love his laugh and even his squawk.  I love my baby.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

What Works for Us: Room Time

I've decided to do a new series of posts on how I make parenting work for us. Every parent does it differently--which is great!--but I have a hard time keeping my discoveries to myself. The things I do may not work for anyone else but I want to record them and remember them. Hopefully, it will also help me vent my soap-box-y-ness so that I'm not always imposing my ideas on other people. That will be what "What-Works-for-Us Posts" are about. One of the things that we have always done, but has made a HUGE difference in the move from one to two children, is Room Time . When Soren was 6 months old, I started having him play alone (in a safe place) every day for a few minutes. At first it was only five minutes in the port-a-crib but we quickly worked up to fifteen, then thirty. At that time, I used those precious minutes to do housework or relax on the couch. When I was pregnant with Carl, Soren would play alone for about an hour in his room and I would usually tak

Surrounded by Love

One of my greatest worries about having four children was that I would not be able to welcome and love my new baby as well as I had the others.  Now that he is here, I feel that he is perhaps the most welcomed and best loved of all my sons.  More on that in a moment. I struggled to bond with Leif in utero, in part because pregnancy was old hat to me and in part because life was busy with too many other things.  The new miracle  growing inside of me was the most normal thing about my life.  There were a few good moments that helped me prepare mentally: doing guided meditations during Christmas vacation, my blessingway on January 6th, and a really good conversation I had with Scott about my hopes and worries.  But mostly, my mind was elsewhere. And then there was the birth.  I should have known that it would be a totally unique experience and that it would prepare me for this totally unique child. Needless to say, I'm crazy about the little guy. Scott has also really taken

ABCs

A couple of months ago I was trying to encourage Soren to draw. For 15 or 20 minutes every afternoon, we would sit at the coffee table with paper and pencil. I would draw stick figures and doodles; Soren would watch, his own paper untouched. After a couple of days repeating my usual pictures over and over, I ran out of ideas and started writing the letters of his name. One day I wrote and drew pictures of all the things I could think of that began with S: Soren, snake, superman, spider, stars, etc. The next day we focused on the letter O. It gave me ideas for drawing, which kept Soren entertained even if it wasn't fulfilling its original purpose. A couple more weeks went by and I didn't put any effort into reinforcing the letters. So I was very surprised when, one day while reading a naptime story, he pointed to the page and said very distinctly, "ess". He was, in fact, pointing to an S. And he was very excited about it. So, instead of reading the book, we sp