This Christmas found me eight months pregnant and closing fast on my due date. And with the break in normal activities afforded by our vacation in Illinois, I finally found time to prepare for my fourth son's impending birth. It seemed like an appropriate focus for my own inner work during the season. After all, Christmas is about the birth of a very special child.
In my pondering, Mary's story became a potent allegory for my own situation. Although she was unique among women, we have much in common. The baby she carried was the Son of God, Himself a diety, with a sacred mission to perform. The baby I carry is also a son of God with divine potential, one who has also been sent to earth with a purpose. Is it sacrilege to compare my experience with that of the virgin Mary? To feel like the birth of my son will, in some lesser way, grant our family the gift of "god with us"?
I am sure that, like me, Mary anticipated the good work her son would do as he grew. She probably also dreaded the pains of life that he would suffer. But unlike me, her joy and sorrow is shared with all creation. The child she bore was the one and only Savior of mankind: the way, the truth, and the life. God's great plan of happiness depended entirely upon the man her little baby would become. His birth into this mortal life prepared the way for my birth into eternal life. Mine and my sons'.
So there was a fulfilling parallel in my life to the holiday this year. As we celebrated God's gift of His Only Begotten Son, I also anticipated God's gift of another son for me.
Here are some of the things we did to commemorate the season:
1. We made the long car drive to Illinois to be with Scott's family. Before going, Scot fasted and we both prayed that we would not have our baby while there. Although I was feeling an affinity to Jesus's mother, I didn't want to give birth far from help and home.
2. I made Christmas cookies to take with us on the trip. Every time we had to get back in the car after a stop, I would give the kids a cookie. I was hoping to create a positive association with getting back in the car and I think it worked. However, it was also frequently very messy.
3. The Duedes bought and decorated an enormous and beautiful fir tree. It was the first thing we saw when we came in the door to their house early morning on the 21st of December. It was quite the upgrade from our pitiful 2 foot fiber optic tree (with busted fiber optics) which we had left at home on top of the piano. The lights and the wonderful scent really put us in the Christmas spirit.
4. The day that we got in was also the Winter Solstice. Scott and I started some great traditions last year for the solstice but we didn't get to do any of them this year. I did want to do something, though. So we drove around in the dark night and looked at Christmas lights. There was one really cool house that had a radio station timed to a light show on their front lawn.
5. Being with family was really nice. Scott's parents were excited to see the boys. Audrey spent a lot of time reading with them and teaching the older ones to play Candy Crush and Snood. The boys (especially Carl) really enjoyed their cousin Maddy, who is finally old enough to play with. And everyone was glad to see Mother and Father Duede (along with their customary box of delicious goodies); they arrived on Christmas Eve and stayed for three days.
5. For FHE before Christmas, I showed the kids a video on youtube about birth. I thought it might give them some context as they thought about the birth of the Savior as well as about the birth of their new brother. This particular video was recommended to me by a friend who is also expecting. Her kids, apparently, got really into it. However, it didn't seem to make much of an impression on mine.
6. Father Duede brought a gingerbread house kit for the great-grandkids. Scott was the only one patient enough to assemble it (even I was too hasty) but once he was done, the kids enjoyed decorating it. And then eating the decorations.
7. Christmas Eve, Scott read the Christmas story. The boys got to hold pieces of Nan's teddy bear nativity and put them up on display when their piece entered the story. Sven was frighteningly over-enthusiastic but all the pieces survived our reading.
8. Christmas morning was fun. The tiny lego kits I put in Soren and Carl's stockings were a big hit. There were probably half a dozen gifts per kid under the tree as well. I was worried that there was nothing really exciting but the kids were plenty excited anyways. Soren made a big deal about the book I got him (Our Island Story, something we've been reading on the kindle in homeschool). Sven was thrilled about the stuffed elephant Nan had found. And Carl liked best the money from Mother and Father Duede; he got on amazon right away and ordered a great big lego set that would arrive the day we got home.
9. The only Christmas cooking I did was to make my mom's cheesy potatoes to go with the delicious ham Father Duede brought. I had intended to make our traditional Christmas Eve soup but we ordered pizza on Christmas Eve instead. The ham and potatoes on Christmas Day, though, felt plenty festive.
10. After all the major festivities were over, I just enjoyed relaxing at the Duedes' home for a week. I napped every day and did lots of guided meditation in preparation for my upcoming birthing. Audrey pampered me with some great essential oil foot and leg rubs to help with my pregnancy-induced restless leg syndrome. It was wonderful to take a break from my normally hectic life and turn my attention inward.
11. The boys started to get antsy the last couple of days of vacation; in the end we were all glad to get home. We got back January 2nd and finished out Christmastide on our own terms. For the last FHE of the season, we talked about the gifts of the magi and prepared our own gifts for Jesus by making goals for the new year. Then, on epiphany, we had a king cake (mine didn't rise in time so I bought a round spice cake at the grocery store). I pressed the plastic baby into the bottom for someone to find; it ended up in Soren's piece. He got to be king for the day, much to Carl's chagrin.
12. We had left the presents from my parents at home rather than take them with us on our drive to Freeport. So we opened those on Epiphany, too. There were legos for Carl, a microscope for Soren, and Sven got his very own stuffed rabbit. These gifts were all very enthusiastically received.
13. In accordance with my own musings this season, Christmastide ended with a Blessingway for me, hosted by my friend Megan. Several of my girl friends got together to lend me emotional support in preparation for the birth. I felt very loved by and connected to these women. My favorite part was the fear release, when each of us shared a fear then threw a pinch of herbs into a fire, symbolically letting them go. My other favorite part was the Viking ribbon Megan made for me to remind me of the strength I would receive from friends on earth and ancestors in heaven. The night of the Blessingway, my baby shifted from posterior to anterior position and Scott picked out a name for him. Christmas is over and I feel ready for my own baby's birth.
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