My first week of homeschooling has been surprisingly draining.
Before the big first day, I felt mostly excitement. My research was done and my choices were made. My plans were in place and I was confident in them. My son was eager and ready to learn.
I thought that homeschooling would be either a) a blast or b) not that different from normal life.
It was both of those things. But it was neither.
That makes no sense and yet it is true. My first week homeschooling was both fun and terrifying. And while it was not that different from normal parenting, I felt different and not in entirely positive ways. All of a sudden, I felt afraid. Afraid of falling short, of messing up, of unforeseeable complications and very real impending complications, of missing things, of going too fast or too slow, of getting bored, of being isolated, of everything.
And while I have plenty of good coping mechanisms for dealing with these issues, they have still been draining a lot of my mental resources. The wheels in my head have been spinning along the same non-productive paths all week and by the end, my brain felt like an exhausted hamster. It wasn't the schoolwork or the kids that zapped me dry. It was the worrying.
But this post isn't about what took it out of me. It's about what gave it all back (and more).
I went to a church meeting tonight. It was just what I needed. I had been looking for refreshment all day and couldn't find it anywhere else. There, at the meeting, I found it in spades. I am so grateful for that tender mercy.
The best things about the meeting, though, weren't exclusive to that environment. I realized that I don't need to wait for a great church meeting to be refueled. I can carry this feeling with me through my worrying and my working if I bring the best of that meeting into my home.
These are the parts that really touched me:
1. The music. The singing of hymns has a very powerful effect on me. More than any other part of the meeting, it was while we sang that I felt my mind and heart being healed. And I can sing anytime I like! I feel certain that if I fill my time with singing and my home with good music, that will go a long way toward lifting me up. I used to sing a lot more to go with the rhythm of my days. I had songs for waking up the kids, songs for doing our chores, songs for going out to play, songs for taking a walk, and songs for snuggling up at bedtime. I was always actively memorizing a song. I want to be that way again.
2. The stories. There was good doctrine taught but--ah!--the stories! Good stories are so nourishing for the soul! In my homeschool, I know how important it is to feed my children good stories from the best books. I need to take that same care with myself. Rather than surfing the internet and reading what often amounts to poorly written drivel, I want to spend more of my time in good books. And in The Good Book. Any recommendations would be welcome.
3. The praying. There's really nothing better for the soul than really talking to God. When I lay my concerns at his feet, I feel that I can finally lay them to rest. He helps to make my thoughts about them productive rather than circuitous. And He reminds me about what's really important. Those reminders fill me with hope. Because God has a plan for what is really important. And it's a plan that has provided generous accommodations for my weakness. This reminds me of a lesson from the Lorenzo Snow manual which said, "When we seek God's will, we follow a course in which there will be no failure." I feel that confidence when I pray.
These three things are going to make a big difference in my second homeschooling week. I am grateful that I was able to go to my church meeting this evening; it revitalized me when I desperately needed it. But it also taught me how to revitalize myself.
That's one less thing I have to worry about.
Before the big first day, I felt mostly excitement. My research was done and my choices were made. My plans were in place and I was confident in them. My son was eager and ready to learn.
I thought that homeschooling would be either a) a blast or b) not that different from normal life.
It was both of those things. But it was neither.
That makes no sense and yet it is true. My first week homeschooling was both fun and terrifying. And while it was not that different from normal parenting, I felt different and not in entirely positive ways. All of a sudden, I felt afraid. Afraid of falling short, of messing up, of unforeseeable complications and very real impending complications, of missing things, of going too fast or too slow, of getting bored, of being isolated, of everything.
And while I have plenty of good coping mechanisms for dealing with these issues, they have still been draining a lot of my mental resources. The wheels in my head have been spinning along the same non-productive paths all week and by the end, my brain felt like an exhausted hamster. It wasn't the schoolwork or the kids that zapped me dry. It was the worrying.
But this post isn't about what took it out of me. It's about what gave it all back (and more).
I went to a church meeting tonight. It was just what I needed. I had been looking for refreshment all day and couldn't find it anywhere else. There, at the meeting, I found it in spades. I am so grateful for that tender mercy.
The best things about the meeting, though, weren't exclusive to that environment. I realized that I don't need to wait for a great church meeting to be refueled. I can carry this feeling with me through my worrying and my working if I bring the best of that meeting into my home.
These are the parts that really touched me:
1. The music. The singing of hymns has a very powerful effect on me. More than any other part of the meeting, it was while we sang that I felt my mind and heart being healed. And I can sing anytime I like! I feel certain that if I fill my time with singing and my home with good music, that will go a long way toward lifting me up. I used to sing a lot more to go with the rhythm of my days. I had songs for waking up the kids, songs for doing our chores, songs for going out to play, songs for taking a walk, and songs for snuggling up at bedtime. I was always actively memorizing a song. I want to be that way again.
2. The stories. There was good doctrine taught but--ah!--the stories! Good stories are so nourishing for the soul! In my homeschool, I know how important it is to feed my children good stories from the best books. I need to take that same care with myself. Rather than surfing the internet and reading what often amounts to poorly written drivel, I want to spend more of my time in good books. And in The Good Book. Any recommendations would be welcome.
3. The praying. There's really nothing better for the soul than really talking to God. When I lay my concerns at his feet, I feel that I can finally lay them to rest. He helps to make my thoughts about them productive rather than circuitous. And He reminds me about what's really important. Those reminders fill me with hope. Because God has a plan for what is really important. And it's a plan that has provided generous accommodations for my weakness. This reminds me of a lesson from the Lorenzo Snow manual which said, "When we seek God's will, we follow a course in which there will be no failure." I feel that confidence when I pray.
These three things are going to make a big difference in my second homeschooling week. I am grateful that I was able to go to my church meeting this evening; it revitalized me when I desperately needed it. But it also taught me how to revitalize myself.
That's one less thing I have to worry about.
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