Skip to main content

Ordinary Arts: The Art of Self-Care

I noticed when Soren was very young that I could not be any kind of mother to him when I did not take care of myself.  I knew before he was born that I needed to prepare myself to be his mother; I did not realize that afterwards, I would need to prepare myself continually to interact with him in a loving and thoughtful way.  I know now that I must make time to nurture myself.

I'm not talking about gratifying my whims at the expense of my family and I'm certainly not talking about anything that can be bought and sold.  As suggested by this post's focus on ordinary arts, I am talking about the everyday habits that will give me strength when my task is difficult and will allow me to experience joy when family life is harmonious.  I am talking about simple things and they are "of more importance than their simplicity might suggest."  

There is a baseline level of wellness that I try to maintain.  It gives me the needed physical and emotional energy to carry out my daily tasks as a parent.  To have that strength, I:
* pray morning, afternoon, and whenever things get tough,
* sleep 7-1/2 hours every night,
* and eat three meals every day.

However, if I am to mother mindfully and live a life worth emulating, there is more I must do to care for myself. So I also try each day to:
* make a little music
* read the scriptures,
* nourish my relationships with adult friends,
* go for a walk (with or without kids),
* have an uninterrupted conversation with my husband,
* and learn something new.

I would like to add one more idea to this post.  Scott and I have been talking recently about the biblical concept of marriage, and particularly about Paul's counsel to husbands and wives.  Paul advises, "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as unto the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. . . . Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it. . . . So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies.  He that loveth his wife loveth himself."  I would offer this final thought: that one of the most potent ways I can care for myself is to submit to the care of my husband.  Scott truly does love me as he loves himself.  When I listen to his counsel and accept his affection, I find myself renewed far beyond my capacity to strengthen myself.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

What Works for Us: Room Time

I've decided to do a new series of posts on how I make parenting work for us. Every parent does it differently--which is great!--but I have a hard time keeping my discoveries to myself. The things I do may not work for anyone else but I want to record them and remember them. Hopefully, it will also help me vent my soap-box-y-ness so that I'm not always imposing my ideas on other people. That will be what "What-Works-for-Us Posts" are about. One of the things that we have always done, but has made a HUGE difference in the move from one to two children, is Room Time . When Soren was 6 months old, I started having him play alone (in a safe place) every day for a few minutes. At first it was only five minutes in the port-a-crib but we quickly worked up to fifteen, then thirty. At that time, I used those precious minutes to do housework or relax on the couch. When I was pregnant with Carl, Soren would play alone for about an hour in his room and I would usually tak...
2 comments
Read more

Surrounded by Love

One of my greatest worries about having four children was that I would not be able to welcome and love my new baby as well as I had the others.  Now that he is here, I feel that he is perhaps the most welcomed and best loved of all my sons.  More on that in a moment. I struggled to bond with Leif in utero, in part because pregnancy was old hat to me and in part because life was busy with too many other things.  The new miracle  growing inside of me was the most normal thing about my life.  There were a few good moments that helped me prepare mentally: doing guided meditations during Christmas vacation, my blessingway on January 6th, and a really good conversation I had with Scott about my hopes and worries.  But mostly, my mind was elsewhere. And then there was the birth.  I should have known that it would be a totally unique experience and that it would prepare me for this totally unique child. Needless to say, I'm crazy about the little guy. ...
1 comment
Read more

ABCs

A couple of months ago I was trying to encourage Soren to draw. For 15 or 20 minutes every afternoon, we would sit at the coffee table with paper and pencil. I would draw stick figures and doodles; Soren would watch, his own paper untouched. After a couple of days repeating my usual pictures over and over, I ran out of ideas and started writing the letters of his name. One day I wrote and drew pictures of all the things I could think of that began with S: Soren, snake, superman, spider, stars, etc. The next day we focused on the letter O. It gave me ideas for drawing, which kept Soren entertained even if it wasn't fulfilling its original purpose. A couple more weeks went by and I didn't put any effort into reinforcing the letters. So I was very surprised when, one day while reading a naptime story, he pointed to the page and said very distinctly, "ess". He was, in fact, pointing to an S. And he was very excited about it. So, instead of reading the book, we sp...
3 comments
Read more