Some of you may know that I have been trying to potty train Soren. I spent all last week working on it and it was the very worst week of our lives. My efforts have ended in big, fat failure.
It's not because Soren isn't "ready". I've heard a lot about "readiness" and most people who have heard about our failure are suggesting that Soren is developmentally incapable of using the toilet. Poppycock. He's ready. I just screwed it up.
When we have a successful potty training story to tell, I think that I will understand this experience better. But for now, the following list covers pretty well what didn't work for us:
1. Bribes. I only got one piece of advice (from many sources) before I made the attempt to ditch diapers: bribe 'em. Everyone told me to use a rewards system to incentivise potty use. That did not work for us. Soren went crazy trying to get the rewards but his natural desire to sit on the toilet like Mommy and Daddy completely dried up. There was candy in the bathroom and that was way more exciting than any dumb potty. He spent all his mental energy trying to figure out how to get that candy without peeing in the bowl.
2. Entertainment. Keeping Soren entertained while he sat on the toilet (sometimes for hours) was not hard. However, it didn't help him to go and I think he is not thoroughly confused about the purpose of the bathroom.
3. Using a doll. We taught Soren's monkey to use the toilet. Soren didn't get it. We taught Soren's rabbit to use the toilet. Soren still didn't get it. We taught an "anatomically correct" doll to use the toilet. Seeing as how it was a girl doll (and you better believe there's no such thing as an anatomically correct boy doll), I aws unsurprised when Soren still didn't get it. And where did all those dolls wind up? In the potty, every one.
4. Tossing the diapers. Soren and Carl wear the same (cloth) diapers, so I couldn't actually throw them out. But I did switch Soren to underwear for the week. I hoped that giving up diapers cold turkey would have some kind of impact on him. It did. He grew to hate peeing and would hold it all day long, even when his bladder was packed with lemonade. He didn't want to sit on the potty but he also didn't want to pee in his clothes. So he just wouldn't pee. Near the end of the day, I would see him painfully dancing to contain it but be rewarded with a full-fledged tantrum if I suggested the porcelain throne.
5. Waiting. I wish I done this a few months ago and I am not looking forward to restarting the process in a few months. He is so much more wilful now, which I understand is completely normal for kids his age and not likely to go away any time soon. He was physically capable at 2. By postponing this, I find that he is still capable but no longer willing.
It's not because Soren isn't "ready". I've heard a lot about "readiness" and most people who have heard about our failure are suggesting that Soren is developmentally incapable of using the toilet. Poppycock. He's ready. I just screwed it up.
When we have a successful potty training story to tell, I think that I will understand this experience better. But for now, the following list covers pretty well what didn't work for us:
1. Bribes. I only got one piece of advice (from many sources) before I made the attempt to ditch diapers: bribe 'em. Everyone told me to use a rewards system to incentivise potty use. That did not work for us. Soren went crazy trying to get the rewards but his natural desire to sit on the toilet like Mommy and Daddy completely dried up. There was candy in the bathroom and that was way more exciting than any dumb potty. He spent all his mental energy trying to figure out how to get that candy without peeing in the bowl.
2. Entertainment. Keeping Soren entertained while he sat on the toilet (sometimes for hours) was not hard. However, it didn't help him to go and I think he is not thoroughly confused about the purpose of the bathroom.
3. Using a doll. We taught Soren's monkey to use the toilet. Soren didn't get it. We taught Soren's rabbit to use the toilet. Soren still didn't get it. We taught an "anatomically correct" doll to use the toilet. Seeing as how it was a girl doll (and you better believe there's no such thing as an anatomically correct boy doll), I aws unsurprised when Soren still didn't get it. And where did all those dolls wind up? In the potty, every one.
4. Tossing the diapers. Soren and Carl wear the same (cloth) diapers, so I couldn't actually throw them out. But I did switch Soren to underwear for the week. I hoped that giving up diapers cold turkey would have some kind of impact on him. It did. He grew to hate peeing and would hold it all day long, even when his bladder was packed with lemonade. He didn't want to sit on the potty but he also didn't want to pee in his clothes. So he just wouldn't pee. Near the end of the day, I would see him painfully dancing to contain it but be rewarded with a full-fledged tantrum if I suggested the porcelain throne.
5. Waiting. I wish I done this a few months ago and I am not looking forward to restarting the process in a few months. He is so much more wilful now, which I understand is completely normal for kids his age and not likely to go away any time soon. He was physically capable at 2. By postponing this, I find that he is still capable but no longer willing.
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P.S. I have wondered if cloth diapers feel too much like underwear for that method to work...guess I'll find out!