Skip to main content

What Didn't Work for Us: Potty Training

Some of you may know that I have been trying to potty train Soren. I spent all last week working on it and it was the very worst week of our lives. My efforts have ended in big, fat failure.

It's not because Soren isn't "ready". I've heard a lot about "readiness" and most people who have heard about our failure are suggesting that Soren is developmentally incapable of using the toilet. Poppycock. He's ready. I just screwed it up.

When we have a successful potty training story to tell, I think that I will understand this experience better. But for now, the following list covers pretty well what didn't work for us:

1. Bribes. I only got one piece of advice (from many sources) before I made the attempt to ditch diapers: bribe 'em. Everyone told me to use a rewards system to incentivise potty use. That did not work for us. Soren went crazy trying to get the rewards but his natural desire to sit on the toilet like Mommy and Daddy completely dried up. There was candy in the bathroom and that was way more exciting than any dumb potty. He spent all his mental energy trying to figure out how to get that candy without peeing in the bowl.

2. Entertainment. Keeping Soren entertained while he sat on the toilet (sometimes for hours) was not hard. However, it didn't help him to go and I think he is not thoroughly confused about the purpose of the bathroom.

3. Using a doll.  We taught Soren's monkey to use the toilet. Soren didn't get it. We taught Soren's rabbit to use the toilet. Soren still didn't get it. We taught an "anatomically correct" doll to use the toilet. Seeing as how it was a girl doll (and you better believe there's no such thing as an anatomically correct boy doll), I aws unsurprised when Soren still didn't get it. And where did all those dolls wind up? In the potty, every one.

4. Tossing the diapers. Soren and Carl wear the same (cloth) diapers, so I couldn't actually throw them out. But I did switch Soren to underwear for the week. I hoped that giving up diapers cold turkey would have some kind of impact on him. It did. He grew to hate peeing and would hold it all day long, even when his bladder was packed with lemonade. He didn't want to sit on the potty but he also didn't want to pee in his clothes. So he just wouldn't pee. Near the end of the day, I would see him painfully dancing to contain it but be rewarded with a full-fledged tantrum if I suggested the porcelain throne.

5. Waiting. I wish I done this a few months ago and I am not looking forward to restarting the process in a few months. He is so much more wilful now, which I understand is completely normal for kids his age and not likely to go away any time soon. He was physically capable at 2. By postponing this, I find that he is still capable but no longer willing.

Comments

Hannah said…
I totally understand. But I do have this piece of advice- or rather, an experience to share. When Nate was potty training, none of that stuff "worked" but SOMETHING must have stuck because a few days after I QUIT and put in back in Pull-ups full time, HE started to use the potty on his own. And that was it! Soren may surprise you yet. Don't worry. :)

P.S. I have wondered if cloth diapers feel too much like underwear for that method to work...guess I'll find out!

Popular posts from this blog

Surrounded by Love

One of my greatest worries about having four children was that I would not be able to welcome and love my new baby as well as I had the others.  Now that he is here, I feel that he is perhaps the most welcomed and best loved of all my sons.  More on that in a moment. I struggled to bond with Leif in utero, in part because pregnancy was old hat to me and in part because life was busy with too many other things.  The new miracle  growing inside of me was the most normal thing about my life.  There were a few good moments that helped me prepare mentally: doing guided meditations during Christmas vacation, my blessingway on January 6th, and a really good conversation I had with Scott about my hopes and worries.  But mostly, my mind was elsewhere. And then there was the birth.  I should have known that it would be a totally unique experience and that it would prepare me for this totally unique child. Needless to say, I'm crazy about the little guy. ...

What Works for Us: Room Time

I've decided to do a new series of posts on how I make parenting work for us. Every parent does it differently--which is great!--but I have a hard time keeping my discoveries to myself. The things I do may not work for anyone else but I want to record them and remember them. Hopefully, it will also help me vent my soap-box-y-ness so that I'm not always imposing my ideas on other people. That will be what "What-Works-for-Us Posts" are about. One of the things that we have always done, but has made a HUGE difference in the move from one to two children, is Room Time . When Soren was 6 months old, I started having him play alone (in a safe place) every day for a few minutes. At first it was only five minutes in the port-a-crib but we quickly worked up to fifteen, then thirty. At that time, I used those precious minutes to do housework or relax on the couch. When I was pregnant with Carl, Soren would play alone for about an hour in his room and I would usually tak...

Favorites

1. I have enjoyed the sunshine this week.  It has been perfect autumn weather.  Our kindergarten walks have been very pleasant.  I love to see the brown and yellow leaves falling all around me.  I told the kids that when they caught a falling leaf, they caught a wish in their hand.  It's harder than it sounds!  Today, one fell right on my head!  I decided to count that. 2. Monday was my brother Timothy's last P-day of his mission!  We chatted on gmail for about an hour that morning.  I am really excited for him to come home! 3. I made an apple pie for FHE.  It was amazing. 4. Scott went on a father-son date with Soren on Wednesday night.  They went to the U of U parking lot and wrote down all the license plates they saw.  When they got home, Soren was very excited to tell me about the snazzy sports car they saw as well as the license plate from England. 5. I gave myself permission to take a nap every day this week. ...