Officially Expecting

It's been exactly three months since the start of my last menstrual cycle and so, of course, I have known that I was pregnant for a while. But, as a part of my whole paranoia about this pregnancy, I hadn't taken a pregnancy test until this morning. I didn't want to get a positive and then loose the baby.

But the more time that passed, the more excuses I had to forgo the exciting pregnancy ritual of peeing on a stick. It seemed silly to rely on a test when more and more I could feel the life growing in me. Or maybe I'm just too cheap to buy a $15 test when I already know the answer (or will in a few more months at no extra charge!).

But Friday night I mentioned to a friend that I hadn't yet taken a pregnancy test. She told me she had a spare and offered it to me. I took it, laughing.

I used it this morning.

Even knowing everything I did, it was still exciting to see the little plus sign appear in the window. It took hardly any time at all to materialize but even in that small amount of time, I felt a ridiculous anxiety followed by relief and joy.

I'm really having a baby! I rushed out of the bathroom and told Scott in an excited voice, like it was a surprise. He shrugged and laughed while I did a little dance. I'm really having this baby!

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