Mom Remembers

I believe that the people that you love most have the power to change the person that you are. Falling in love with Scott forever changed the woman that I am. I look back with fondness on the girl I was. She is someone I was always happy to be. But I'm different now. And although as I was content before, I became even more so afterwards. I became more open and trusting. I felt more stable and peaceful. I think I gained wisdom. I don't think you can love and not be wiser. Loving Soren has irrevocably changed me too, as I hope every child I have will. Sometimes I feel as though I have borrowed his driving need for self-discovery and his refreshing lack of inhibitions. Sometimes, when I look in his sleepy eyes, I feel as though I have regained a lost innocence. And, again, I believe I am wiser now. This is how it happens: I'm sitting on the couch reading a book or a blog. I am encompassed by my own affairs and my own interests; I am an island and happy to stay that way. Soren ...

Yesterday, April Clauson and I went to a mommy-and-baby institute class. The topic of the class was discipline but it was assumed that none of the material we were learning would be used for a few years. The teacher doesn't think that children under the age of one are teachable. She was mostly giving us pointers for the future. A lot of it seemed like good advice for right now, though. I really feel that there are important things Soren can--and should--learn right now. Babies learn quickly about cause and effect. Soren knows that if he holds the sippy cup up, he gets juice and if he doesn't, he doesn't. He knows that if he scoots to the door of his room and bang on it during room time, I'll know he's done playing and I'll come and get him. He knows that if I put him in the crib, he won't get out until he's slept. I believe these correlations started to kick in around six months. Although he may not have any notion of morality, my 9-month-old...

Today we went for a family outing and Soren was so pleasant! We walked down 4th S looking for some food and found an all-you-can-eat Himalayan buffet. We let Soren try all the different foods and, although he didn't like the spicy stuff as well, he enjoyed it the overall experience. Some of the other customers commented on how content he was; he was flashing big smiles all around the dining area. During the meal, he looked at Scott and said (very distinctly) "da da". Scott says it was just coincidence, though. He says that Soren calls him "abzzzzta" as often as he calls him anything resembling "da da". Still, it was really cute. After lunch, we walked to the public library. We went downstairs to the children's section where they have a room decorated like an ice palace. Scott said it was like the fortress of solitude and that someday we should make a superman suit for Soren. We picked out a couple of books and read them in the fort...

This past week, Soren learned to pull himself up to standing. He's been able to stand with support for awhile and he's been able to pull himself up to a kneeling position for a while, too. But this week he put all the skills and gained dexterity together and started to pull himself all the way up. Now he scoots over to wherever I am and pulls himself hand over hand up my skirt or pants until he can look over the couch or rocking chair and see my face. The more he learns to do, the more fun it is to play with him. And I must admit, it's rewarding to see that as he gains the ability to get what he wants, most of the time he just wants to get closer to me or to Scott. The down side to this is that he is a lot more testy about going to bed. His crib used to be a place that he couldn't see out of. It kept outside stimulation to a minimum and created a safe, soothing environment for him to sleep in. Now, as soon as he hits the crib, he scoots around and pulls up...